Fuck it. I’m going to have fun.
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lolololiver
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lolololiver
I need to get back on track–academically, socially, and professionally. Another quarter devoted to growth.
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lolololiver
I can do anything I want to do. I can attain anything I want to attain. I can be anything I want be. Yes I can. Yes I can. Yes I can.
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lolololiver
Today is the first day in my college career that I decided to go to class after I already turned off my alarm and went back into bed.
Today is a proud day.
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lolololiver
The things that can change in a year.
What an understatement.
2009 started out rather blandly. Sure, I probably said all these pretty little resolutions and made all these half-hearted commitments, but I shouldn’t have kid myself. I didn’t change much at the beginning of the year, and as a result, my life was more or less the same. I probably can’t even name five memorable things about the first few months. I can’t even name my professors from Winter Quarter. Spring break? That week is practically a hole in my memory.
And then a miracle happened.
And from that point on, life has just been…
Life has just been happy.
Which isn’t to say the last eight or so months has just been a whirlwind of bliss. It’s taken work, it’s taken hurt, it’s taken time. And I’m glad for all of it, because it’s shaped me into becoming the person I am right now. Shaping me.
And what am I becoming? Happier, for one. I know it, you know it, everybody can tell just by looking at my face. I am loved–and of course I’ve always been–but I have never felt it so fully and presently from everyone around me. I love myself–and not entirely in the narcissistic sense–but in a way where I can finally acknowledge and move past my flaws. I love–and that’s the happiest feeling of all.
More confident. I’m more convinced of my own future success than ever before. I’m more sure of what I want to do in my life and how to get there than ever before. More carefree. I’m learning not to worry, not to care so much about what others think and follow my own heart. I’m learning how to live in the present. More detached. I’m finally figuring out how to eliminate a constant need for material comfort and focusing on things that really do matter. Healthier. I’ve kicked cigarettes and toned down my drinking a great amount. More open. More patient. More productive. More mature.
But I’m not perfect, I’m not always right, always tactful, always thoughtful, and always understanding. I still have a lot to work on. And in the next year, or the years after that, I’ll learn, and I can continue in shaping myself to be a better person.
But there’s nothing I can hope for in the upcoming year. All I can do is just continue being the best human I can possibly be and live life to the best of my ability.
Happy New Year.
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lolololiver
I will be successful no matter what.
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lolololiver
Take care of yourselves. They’re just a bunch of numbers and letters.
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lolololiver
I think one of the things I’ll miss most about working at Foodworx is playing my music on the big speakers.
Goodbye food services. I learned a lot.
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lolololiver
Everything’s great.
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lolololiver
Whoa. Been a couple of weeks since my last update. It’s hard to maintain these type of things.
Sixth week already? Pretty far into the quarter, but not far enough. Lots have happened so far, but I can’t seem to remember much from the top of my head.
Trying to lead a more fulfilling life. Trying not to fall back into a pattern. A routine. It’s hard to break out of it and still keep on top of everything and everyone. School is always a burden, but I think I’ve convinced myself that I’ll be fine in the end.
Birthday was fun. Haven’t been that drunk in a long time. Don’t think I want to be that drunk in a long time. Smoking made me way too lightheaded, too. Good sign, definitely, maybe.
Halloween was good. Good, clean, fun. I think I just like doing a lot of things and being in a million places all in one night.
I will make my life continually better.
Wow, boring post.
